My paws are dirty. I’ve been walking around in the mud. I don’t feel good about it. I can’t seem to clean my feet and I’m tracking all over the rug.

In the past month I have started a number of posts only to stop in the middle before further effort made me vomit.

The mother of all bile is running at the top of the Republican ticket.

So what are your children learning from all this? Plenty. First and foremost how to succeed, how to win, how to get rich and famous – and perhaps even how to become President of the United States of America. Here are the characteristics they need to develop:

Your child needs to learn to be arrogant. Never mind self-esteem, self-confidence, pride, vanity, hubris, egocentrism, or even arrogance as most of us normally perceive and detest it. No. Don’t stop there. Until you have become, in your heart, mind, and soul, a full-blown, pathological narcissist, those who have reached that pinnacle will still be able to deprive you of what you deserve: everything, regardless of who has it now or who gets hurt in the taking. This includes the money, property, dignity, or even the spouse of anyone whose possessions you covet.

Your child needs to learn to be an unmitigated, unabashed, unashamed, unrepentant, compulsive, serial liar. This works wonders, because given that no one is perfectly honest, least of all those running for office, you can use a few of their fabrications to justify a constant, unremitting stream of deceits, innuendos, libels, slanders, and outright lies, without any restraint whatsoever, because a frighteningly large percentage of the citizens of this country will embrace those lies with the fervor of gaunt, bloody-mouthed hyenas devouring maggot-encrusted meat.

Your child needs to learn to be greedy. After all, as the man who might be President in two days has said, “You can never be too greedy.” So take everything you can take, even if it means getting involved in three lawsuits a week for your entire career. Or if it means defrauding, cheating, intimidating, or extorting  anyone and everyone who gets in your way, including men, women, children, teenage girls, or elderly widows. Even if it means cultivating ties with the Mafia or setting up sham universities or sham charitable foundations which are simply vehicles for enriching yourself.

Even if it means failing to pay those who work for you or provide you goods or services, stiffing teenage girls who model for your agency, or hiring illegal, undocumented workers and marrying a potential First Lady whose nude photos triggered an investigation which found that she had broken immigration law by modeling illegally in the United States while here on a visa on which she was not allowed to legally work. But she got paid, so take the money and run.

While you’re at it, pretend to give to charities you don’t support and weasel out of paying any federal income taxes. Claim to be a philanthropist and a patriot while you are actually a moneygrubber and a subverter. This is where being an unmitigated, unabashed, unashamed, unrepentant, compulsive, serial liar helps.

Your child needs to learn to be a hypocrite. Call anyone who has ever lied a liar. Call generous people greedy. Commit actual criminal acts and later slander you opponent by libelously calling her a criminal. Hire a man you said committed multiple felonies to lead your transition team, a man whose top aids, including a mother of  four children, are headed for the slammer while he walks.

Accuse your female opponent of the spectacularly dishonest and completely unfounded charge of adultery while being a serial philanderer, cheater, and sexual abuser who has bragged about sexual assault and now spreads lies about the dozen women who have accused him of exactly what he bragged about doing. And while you’re on your high horse, engage publically in disgusting conversations about your wife and agree publically that your daughter is a nice “piece of ass.” And daydream about dating her and about dating 14-year-old and 10-year-old girls.

Stand on stage as though you are Johnny Depp and insult the looks of every woman who disagrees with you, from Rosie O’Donnell to Carly Fiorina to Alicia Machado, and go on record as being unimpressed by your opponent’s shape as viewed from behind. You’re running for President, you f–king a–hole!

Essentially, project every negative characteristic you have and every evil and reprehensible act you have ever committed on anyone who in any way opposes or disagrees with you. Call your opponent an elitist, a liar, arrogant, an adulterer, greedy, a hypocrite, temperamental, unqualified, dangerous, a criminal, a con artist, a racist, and anything else your diseased mind can conjure up which defines yourself and will deflect attention away from the fact that you are the most ignorant, unqualified, pathological, narcissistic, sociopathic, quasi-fascist, racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, inveterately evil con artist and scumbag ever to run for President in the entire history of our nation.

Hypocrisy is such a weak word.

Your child needs to avoid ever learning the word shame. Your child needs to learn the simple fact that having any shame for ever doing anything, no matter how reprehensible, is merely a sign of weakness of character, and may cause this child to lose, the only sin one can ever commit.

Your child needs to learn that learning is bad. Ignorance is a virtue. Don’t read, don’t study, don’t prepare, don’t pay attention to anyone or anything that isn’t paying attention to you. The fact that the Brexit vote is pending or that Russia has invaded Crimea or the names of the leaders of other countries in the world or being able to locate them on a map or understanding the basics of American government or governance or reading the Constitution or having even the vaguest clue of what’s in it or having even a rudimentary understanding of the norms of human relationships or expected standards of comportment are all irrelevant wastes of time that could be better used to abuse women or girls or satisfy other pressing lusts or bask in the bright lights of publicity, self-aggrandizement, and superficial, unearned glory.

Preen and prance like a county fair cock while others clean the barn so you can gather the eggs before the other chickens come home to roost in a coop you have co opted for your own self-serving ends. And while you’re at it be a chickenshit coward who’s afraid to admit that he isn’t perfect and that he doesn’t know jack.

Your child needs to learn to be un-American. The Constitution and Bill of Rights contains a series of suggestions, to be ignored when the fortunes of the Chief Executive are at stake. All treaties, agreements, and promises, both domestic and international, are subject to the whims of the President, who now has a new collection of powers never before conceived of by anyone in any branch of our government, but which are, starting Friday, January 20,  to be enacted solely at the will and whim of the pathological narcissist who has been able to “unrig” the election and seize control.

Elections are now to be decided by assuming any your opponents are prima facie unqualified criminals who are to be jailed or executed for their audacity in opposing you, or at the very least removed from the race. And if the “rigged” system allows them to win, the peaceful transfer of power is to be placed in jeopardy.

All citizens, heretofore considered equal, are to be summarily placed in discriminatory categories and ranked on the basis of race, religion, ethnic origin, size, shape, weight, gender, and general pulchritude.

Parents, your child has a lot to learn.

Your child needs to learn to be racist and xenophobic. Let’s face it: Mexicans rape, deal drugs, and litigate unfairly against European whites. Blacks are cop killers who shouldn’t be allowed to live in apartments next to whites. Blacks who are arrested for crimes are automatically guilty and should suffer the death penalty even in a state which has abandoned it. And if any convicted black is later proven to be innocent, the criminal justice system is also rigged.

Muslims are terrorists and shouldn’t be allowed to enter our country. Nor are American Muslims to be afforded the same Constitutional rights as other Americans. Their places of worship must be surveilled and their neighborhoods watched.

We can break any and all treaties that involve “foreign” powers (except those signed with Putin), randomly kill any “ferriner” whom we even vaguely perceive to be a threat, and consider the use of nuclear weapons against any nation not having the initials U.S.A.

If you learn this lesson well, your first major campaign ad will be sponsored by a hate group, you will be the darling of the alt-right and white supremacist groups such as Breitbart, virulent racists such as Ted Nugent and Steve King, as well as more subtle racists such as Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and Rudy Giuliani. And a puzzlingly large percentage of your supporters will be outright racists.

Most impressively, you will get the endorsement of David Duke and the Ku Klux Klan.

Finally, your child needs to learn to be misogynistic. Women, as we all know, are generally fat, shrill, mouthy, disgusting people who have disgusting menstrual periods and the disgusting habits of going to the bathroom and nursing their babies. Fortunately, their Constitutional rights may well rest on their ratings on a scale of 1-10.

But, whether some of us think it is politically incorrect to admit it or not, Hillary Clinton is female. She is the first woman in our history to have been nominated by a major party for the position of President of our country.

And she is facing an unprecedented expectoration of opposition from the patriarchy that still controls our nation. Let’s look at some background on that. Though about half of America is and always has been female…

  • The leaders of our first colonies were male.
  • All of our Presidents have been males who defeated other males in the general election.
  • Most of our governing bodies at all levels are male-dominated. The United States Congress, for example, currently has a record number of females, amounting to 20% of the House and 20% of the Senate.
  • The Supreme Court currently contains a record number of women – one-third. The appointment of the ninth justice is currently being blocked by powerful males obstructing the Constitutional obligations of the Senate. The current nominee is male.
  • Virtually all of our major military leaders have been male.
  • Our private-sector executive hierarchies have been and continue to be overwhelmingly male.
  • Our workforces have been historically male-dominated.
  • The majority of our doctors have been and still are male; the majority of our nurses are female.
  • To a great extent both star and earning power in Hollywood is strongly skewed toward males.
  • Elementary schools have historically been staffed by females and secondary and post- secondary schools by males.
  • I could go on for pages, but I am trying to keep this short. BOTTOM LINE: All of the major decisions that affect the lives of women are made by males.

So what is the specific relevance of this to the current state of the presidential election?

This is where I am pissed off no end.

Hillary Clinton, a female, has currently had reckless statements made about her by the ever-bumbling James Comey, the male, Clouseau-like Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He says he has found something that might or might not be important. But it is important for this male to take the action of informing fourteen congressional males and two congressional females in direct violation of FBI protocol and possibly the law itself, as were some of his previous actions. I suggest that everyone read the Lanny Davis article of October 29 in The Hill entitled Lanny Davis: Comey’s actions improper, irresponsible and possibly illegal.

In addition to the Republican attack males, male Vladimir Putin and his male cohorts, including male Julian Assange are acting as de facto Trump surrogates and de facto Speakers of the House to take control of the American electoral process. Perhaps U.S.A!, U.S.A!, U.S.A! should be replaced by K.G.B!, K.G.B!, K.G.B!

Male bootlicker Paul Ryan, male attack dog Jason Chaffetz, male partisan Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte, male rabid, partisan attack dog Darrlell Issa, male Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus, male, rabidly radical narcissist Trey Gowdy, male, unhinged Rudy Giuliani, and a host of other males are currently issuing downright orgiastic, irresponsible, democracy-devaluing, self-indulgent statements based on an almost total lack of evidence and several outright lies.

Please excuse me for characterizing these people this way. I don’t like to have to do it, but being gentle at this point is like bringing a pea shooter to a gun fight. Anyway, I don’t think Job himself could be patient in the face of what these people have said and done.

In the meantime, males such as John McCain and Chaffetz are campaigning on investigating and obstructing Hillary Clinton’s presidency were she to be elected, including any nominations she might make to fill any and all Supreme Court vacancies.

Also, a number of prominent males have discussed, before the election has even been decided, impeachment. Scumbags feeding this reprehensible and unmitigatedly destructive notion include male John Hostettler, male Representative Mo Brooks, Republican from Alabama, and a number of male supporters of Donald Trump.

One of the most stunningly outrageous, reprehensible things I have heard in a lifetime of following campaigns was the statement of a a male commentator who said that a good reason to vote against Secretary Clinton is that she may be constantly hindered in performing her duties by the string investigations by her opponents that is being considered, though he could not deny the partisan, frivolous, and destructive nature of these plans.

Trump’s opponents, on the other hand, will probably be more willing to reach across the aisle to do the work of the people. In other words, once again, reward the perpetrators and punish the victim. Punish those who pledge to cooperate and reward the obstructers for their obstinacy. Let them use the most classic techniques of the bully to get their way. And we wonder where Trump came from. I’m not puzzled here. Not at all.

Now: we hear BREAKING NEWS! on television all the time, and millions of words are written every day. But I have not yet heard anyone effectively make the following case:

Virtually all of Hillary Clinton’s negative reputation with the exception of the email scandal was caused by the males around her.

Her husband, the male Bill Clinton, put her in difficult and precarious positions throughout their relationship. This selfish, self-aggrandizing, lying sexual predator dragged her through more dog shit than I could produce in a lifetime. During his term as President he shamed her while he shamed our nation.

Since then, this male has been a gaggle of albatrosses around her neck, including foolish things he has said and done recently.

Most men buy their wives necklaces of diamonds or pearls. This boar would recognize neither. This male used and abused her, and for his actions she has paid dearly and daily.

In the face of all of it, she has always mustered the courage and loyalty to support him, even too vigorously at times, but the price she has paid for this courage and loyalty has been a horrible tainting and an unjust diminishing of the positive perceptions of the public service she has attempted to provide throughout her career and may yet prove fatal to her desire to serve America as it’s first female President.

Enter male Anthony Weeny. Because he can’t stop exposing his penis to children, Hillary is now paying, once again, dearly and daily, perhaps until November 8th when she loses the election under the weight of his sins added to those of her husband. And added to those of the multitude of other males whose deepest desires undoubtedly revolve around the preservation of the pecking order and their position in it.

The new emails are very likely to be either redundant or irrelevant or both. But their reemergence at this critical time due to the perversions of the male Weeny and the misconduct of the male Comey may cost Hillary dearly.

And what about misogynistic male Donald Trump? This con artist has a lifetime resume of serial lying and abuse, fraud, the encouragement of and a troubling fascination with violence, obscene, unapologetic greed, illegal activities and questionable connections, active racism, operative spite, and sexual predation, including forcing his way into a locker room full of naked teenage girls and, again, referring to his daughter as a “piece of ass.”

And this pathological male is supported by a rogues’ list of males that would scare the hell out of any woman alone in a dark alley.

NOTE: All of the above characterizations of Donald Trump are true, documented, verifiable, and legally demonstrable, as opposed to the wild, reckless, libelous, slanderous lies that Trump disgorges at Secretary Clinton each and every day of his campaign.

Yes, Hillary Clinton has her faults, as do all human beings and all politicians. And yes, at times she has misled and even lied. And yes, she made a big mistake with the issues around her private server.

That being said, her record stands in distinctly positive contrast to those of her opponents, particularly those whose lives revolve around obstruction and spite. In terms of her major opponent, this puppy believes that comparing Hillary Clinton to Donald Trump is like comparing a Golden Retriever to a herpes virus.

I don’t think I’m even approaching hyperbole when I say that Hillary Clinton, with all of her faults, is a veritable angel when stood beside the frightening number of disgusting, male scumbags who currently hold positions of leadership which they consistently use to benefit themselves while feasting on the very soul of our nation.

Let’s get real. Let’s play the gender card. Let’s elect the first woman President of the United States of America.

And, while we’re playing the gender card, lets play the race, tolerance, fairness, compassion, justice, honor, patriotism, altruism, humility, curiosity, education, reading, training, preparedness, and truth cards. Let’s play all our cards. We have a royal flush.

But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’ve recently contracted rabies but don’t know it yet. I don’t know. I’m just a puzzled puppy.

(Revised 11/8.)


To: Christians, Evangelical and Otherwise, Considering Voting for Donald Trump

Mothers, hide your children! Particularly Christian mothers who sincerely believe in the teachings of Jesus.

Donald Trump is coming.

Let’s look at what we relearned about him from the first debate and subsequently.

Let’s begin by stating that the philosophical beliefs that define this puppy’s very core concur almost completely with the teachings of Jesus with regard to how we ought to comport ourselves in this life. I believe that most puppies feel this way.

This leaves out, consistent with my agnosticism, those parts of His message pertaining to the supernatural or to the worship of supernatural beings.

So, to be clear, I’m unqualified as a spokesman for Christianity and disqualified from being considered, in any way, a theologian.

I simply believe that Jesus Christ was one of the greatest human beings ever to walk the face of the earth, and that His conception of what constitutes morality, of what we ought to do and what we ought not to do – of, very simply, what is right and what is wrong, is as good as it gets. And I’m qualified to discuss this.

Unfortunately, a huge number of self-identified Christians appear to disagree profoundly with the teachings of Jesus Christ. This is particularly true for Christian supporters of Donald Trump, given the incontestable fact that virtually all of what he preaches and epitomizes spits directly in the face of the Carpenter of Nazareth.

To begin with, Donald Trump doesn’t have exactly a stellar record of paying carpenters for their work. He calls this “good business.”

Trump doesn’t pay taxes. He calls this “smart.”

Trump doesn’t give any appreciable amount to any charities or any church.

Jesus would certainly never have praised Trump as He did the poor widow who gave “all she had.” Jesus instructed His followers to be generous and to give to the poor, mandates which were hardly sidebars. He had very little interest in real estate.

He said, “Woe to you who are rich,” “No servant can serve two masters,” and something about a needle and a camel.

I doubt that Jesus would have rooted for a mortgage crisis which brought misery to millions, even if it would have enriched Him.

And as far as my exegesis has taken me, Christ never said or implied anything consistent with the phrase, “You can’t be too greedy.”

If I read the gospels correctly, He believed in sacrifice for the greater good.

In that Christ was not a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, it’s doubtful that He discriminated against blacks or the poor in His housing projects, though almost “everyone else did it” at that time.

It appears that Jesus was a moral leader who was rather impatient with greedy opportunists. If He returns, Trump needs to bolt down the tables in his tower.

Jesus was rather disappointed that His disciples couldn’t stay awake with Him for an hour in the garden, about twice as long as Trump was able to stay awake during the debate. I was more puzzled than normal – shocked, actually – when Trump rebuked Secretary Clinton for taking the time to prepare for this event. So I did some preparation of my own and came up with a short quiz for Christians regarding this topic:

QUESTION: Which of the following Bible verses applies to which candidate?

  • “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise…it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.” (Proverbs 6: 6-8, NIV)
  • “One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.” (Proverbs 18:9, NIV)

To return to the New Testament and the specific teachings of Jesus, when did He say that a person ought to be judged on how she or he “looks”? When did He ridicule a woman for having “that face”? When did He call someone a “fat pig” and then unapologetically double down on it, again and again and again?

When did He call someone “disgusting” and say, “I think everybody would agree that she deserves it”? I point Christians who are thinking about voting for Donald Trump to the Parable of the Prodigal Son. (Luke 15:11-32)

The moral of this story, central to the very heart of the meaning of the New Testament, conflicts directly with the daily actions and statements of Donald Trump for the entire arc of his life up through at least as late as Friday, September 30, 2016, when he erupted into a “tweetstorm” in which, rather than forgiving her for simply belatedly revealing the truth, he said the following about a 39-year-old woman who had offended him:

  • Background: Had previously called her “Miss Piggy” and “Miss Housekeeping,” in reference to her Hispanic heritage. Had ridiculed her in public for gaining a few pounds, including making a disgusting video of her being forced to exercise to lose weight in front of cameras while Trump and various other lechers leered at her.
  • Called her past “terrible.”
  • Called her (she had won his beauty pageant) “the worst I ever had.”
  • Said she had gained a “massive” amount of weight. Fact check: She had gained a few pounds.
  • Trump, a serial philanderer and vulgarian who often brags of his sexual exploits and infidelities, a friend and party partner of Hugh Hefner who has appeared on the cover of Playboy magazine, falsely accused this woman of making a “sex tape.”
  • Puzzlement: Donald Trump, who’s currently married to a former nude model, finds it scandalous that a contestant in a “beauty pageant” he sponsored may have made a “sex tape,” which to date has not been shown to exist. (Regarding his “pageants,” in case you didn’t know it, these barbaric spectacles involve females who are required to remove most of their clothing and parade half naked in front of such pulchritudinous body judges as Donald Trump, who also oversee their weighing and measuring like animals being examined at a county fair.)

I’ve often imagined Jesus tapping a pen on a clipboard while profoundly evaluating the size and shape of his female disciples’ breasts. Haven’t you?

I could go on for volumes but let me conclude:

First, before you vote this November, ask yourself this: How many of the women you love, your mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins, nieces, and friends, are overweight? Remember this: Donald Trump thinks they’re fat pigs. This overweight male finds overweight females disgusting. And he thinks it’s more important to lash out at them than to prepare for the incredible responsibilities he has chosen to undertake. So go out and vote for him. But please don’t ever tell me you did. Do you know what disappointment looks like in the big, sad eyes of a puppy?

This race isn’t about politics or party, or even about issues on which we can legitimately disagree. This race is about the very soul of the United States of America. It’s about who we are.   

By the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule, the Sermon on the Mount and any other of the teachings of Jesus, by anything any of us were ever taught in our churches, synagogues, mosques, or schools, to say nothing of Buddhism, Hinduism, or any other philosophy of morality, Donald Trump is an unmitigatedly, unrelentingly, absolutely immoral man.

No one is perfect, certainly not Hillary. And she is a politician, which I would define, to paraphrase Graham Greene, as an animal which, when cornered, becomes eloquent.

But absolutely no one displays the cornered rat’s eloquence more skillfully than Donald Trump, whose crude and vulgar rhetoric is used to project his most egregious flaws onto his opponents. No one has seen more vulgarity in Bill Clinton than The Donald, and no one has stretched the truth more painfully to characterize Hillary Clinton as being as dishonest as he.

Hillary’s serious and unfortunate faults noted, there’s absolutely no doubt that Donald Trump is far and away the most overtly and acutely immoral human being who has ever run for the office of President of the United States of America. He consistently says and does evil things without remorse.

Quite literally, like the people in our world who frighten us the most, he doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong.

And it defies logic and common sense to believe he ever will.

One observer (Brian Fallon) asked, “What kind of human being is this?”

For this puzzled puppy, I don’t see how a person who reports losses of almost a billion dollars on a single tax return can call himself a businessman. And I don’t see how a wealthy person who pays no federal income taxes can call himself a patriot.

This man is not great. He has done no great things, only greedy things. He is not qualified in terms of his knowledge or skills for the job for which he is applying. He is temperamentally unsuited for the presidency in ways that ought to terrify anyone living anywhere on the planet.

Trump is a demonstrably immoral man. And his demonstrations occur daily, often hourly. Any evangelical or other Christian who votes for him ought to be ashamed.

Donald J. Trump serially spits in the face of Jesus, both as I know Him and as Christians know Him. And if we elect this great deceiver, there isn’t enough sackcloth and there aren’t enough ashes to cover our hypocrisy and shame.

Or maybe the concepts of right and wrong don’t exist anymore. I don’t know. I’m just a puzzled puppy.







I never know where to begin in describing the psychopathy of Donald Trump. This might be my major theme until the election. In fact, at some point I will explain clearly why Donald Trump is the most dangerous human being on earth.

I hear the chuckles and see the smirks and rolling eyes coming from the infatuated Trump supporters who are just waiting to be bitch-slapped by The Man because they know full well that he won’t ever do a thing for them unless it also benefits Donald J. Trump. (By the way, fellow feminists, my mother is a female dog, so don’t get too politically correct here!)

But let me be serious: I’m serious. And a poopload of professionals whom we have entrusted at the very highest levels with our safety and security agree with me. For example, I have no doubt that the last two Republican Presidents and the last two Republican candidates for President agree. And when “Bomb, Bomb” McCain is worried about having a trigger-happy President, it’s time to sit up and take notice.

In fact, I will go so far as to say that any man, woman, or dog who has a serious knowledge of world affairs and who doesn’t understand this is educated far beyond his or her ability to comprehend.

O.K. Getting ahead of myself. For today, just two examples of Donald Trump’s pathological character. I will go in reverse chronological order:

First, three days ago, on Friday, September 16, at a rally in Miami, Trump was defending the Second Amendment. He, his running mate, and his surrogates have been consistently lying about Hilary Clinton’s wanting to abolish gun ownership in the United States. So he concluded that if she doesn’t want anyone else to have guns, he thinks that “her bodyguards should drop all weapons. They should disarm…Let’s see what happens to her.”

Now, I agree that in this amazingly violent and hate-filled atmosphere in which our country continues to be engulfed, people do need guns to protect themselves, and that elites protected by armed guards ought to understand this. But Donald Trump can never stop at the reasonable end of a point. This is why he is so dangerous.

He concluded his rant by saying, “Let’s see what happens to her.” This sentence represents the projectile vomit of a diseased mind being splattered upon the psyches of some pretty sick puppies who are a small but integral part of his audience. And these deplorables understand exactly what he means. They have heard the same thing at least once before when he “joked” about how convenient it might be if someone assassinated Hillary Clinton before she could make any Supreme Court nominations.

And he knows exactly what he is saying and exactly what he is doing. Anyone smart enough to manipulate the country into very possibly electing as our President a profoundly ignorant, dangerously unqualified, constitutionally dishonest, terrifyingly mentally unstable con artist and sham-meister is smart enough to know exactly what he is saying and exactly what he is doing.

No one should underestimate this man or accuse him of merely bumbling or misspeaking. For anyone who does, stay tuned for the 8th of November.

Second, seven days previously, at another rally in Florida, Trump made another of the long list of statements, any one of which, in a sane world, would disqualify him from the race. He said, “With Iran, when they circle our beautiful destroyers (interesting adjective) with their little (my emphasis) boats, and they make gestures at our people that they shouldn’t be allowed to make, they will be shot out of the water.”

To repeat a word: the people who cheered this statement, which appeared to be virtually the entire audience, are deplorable.

Again, I’m ahead of myself, but this might be exhibit “B” or “C” of the list of clear and present evidence that Donald Trump is in fact the most dangerous man in the world.

In the incident in question, the United States Navy, under the overall command of Barack Obama, acted in an extremely professional, extremely disciplined manner and did exactly what they should have. They held off until one of the boats got too close and then they fired three warning shots.

No escalation, no war, no lives on either side lost, no collateral damage, no American or Iranian mothers, widows, or children weeping. We demonstrated our power and maintained our integrity and moral authority.

Had Trump been President, we might now be in another war involving American ground troops, the entire Middle East, Russia, and perhaps some pretty serious ordnance.

And all of this not to protect ourselves, but to punish some bad boys who flipped us off. Trump never mentioned any determinative threat, because he would have had a hard time making that case. His justification was simply that these people were making “gestures at our people that they shouldn’t be allowed to make.”

It’s a wonder his children lived to adulthood.

One commentator said that had Obama chosen the Trump scenario, he would have created an escalation that we wouldn’t have been “able to contain.”

This is some serious dog shit.

It’s time to get real. Why are we failing to speak effectively to this lunacy? When will we understand that these are the deranged statements of a madman who has already endangered our national security and is on track to decimate it? When will the elected Republican cowards and bootlickers who still support him man up to his schoolyard bullying?

I guess asking when cowards will get brave, when ignorance will educate itself, or when deplorables will stop being deplorable is foolish.

I don’t know. I’m just a puzzled puppy.



My little e-book about Donald Trump, What Donald Trump Supporters Need to Know: But Are Too Infatuated to Figure Out (by Gizmo, The Puzzled Puppy) is finished and published. It’s been delivered to about 14 vendors and will be out on all of them in a couple of weeks, but should be available for purchase on Amazon Kindle (https://www.amazon.com/Kindle-eBooks/b?ie=UTF8&node=154606011) no later than next Wednesday, probably before. Unfortunately, iBookstore won’t have it for at least about a week. I will provide updates and links as vendors make it available for sale.

I strongly suggest that you buy, read, and recommend this e-book. It’s a review of many of the reasons why this election is the most consequential in the history of our nation. Sometimes it’s just nice to have everything in one place. I shouldn’t say everything – that would be impossible, and new outrages surface every day. But a pretty decent summary nonetheless.

As I indicated on August 11, I want to post a couple times a week now that this little project is finished. Spoiler Alert: I’m pissed off no end.

Will be growling soon. (Do you think I should be smiling? I don’t know. I’m just a puzzled puppy.)


Sorry! In my last post I said I’d try to publish the Donald Trump text around the time of the Republican National Convention, but I’m a few weeks behind. My goal now is early September, which will give people a couple of months to look at it before the election. I’m slow, but I also want to be as current as possible with my information, so I’m watching things carefully. For example, as things have evolved my theme has also evolved, from what the Trump nomination says about America to more emphasis on what the Trump nomination says about Trump. (And his supporters.) I think this is the important issue right now. After the text is out I want to post a couple times a week. Thanks for your patience! (About Donald J. Trump in general, I’m really, really a puzzled puppy.)


HE WON! May 4, 2016

Well, as I thought he would, The Donald has virtually wrapped up the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. In the meantime I’ve been following the process and spending the time I have preparing my comments. I’m just a puppy and I work alone so I’m slow, but what I’ll have to say will be interesting. I’ll try to publish around the time of the convention, which will be in Cleveland from July 18-21. My theme is what the Trump nomination says about America. A lot, I think! But what do I know, I’m just a puzzled puppy.


With the election upon us, I need to focus on my upcoming text, Donald Trump’s America.

Consequently, please check back in late April for an update if you’re interested. Thanks!

Interesting guy, The Donald. Even though he just lost Iowa, I think he’s going to get the nomination. And even if he doesn’t, could he be teaching us something about ourselves? Something maybe we don’t want to learn, but need to? What do you think? I don’t know. I’m just a puzzled puppy.


I said I’d try to post a couple of times a week and I guess try was the right word. But this one is long enough to make up for a couple of weeks. Enjoy!

Before you read this, I’d like to say one thing: I don’t like to be sarcastic, but the current state of politics and political discourse in America is so completely absurd that I really have trouble discussing it with a straight face. So here it is:

The Boss tells me his father read somewhere that the most dangerous people are the ideologues because they want more than just your stuff – they want your mind. But he says he thinks that the really dangerous people are the religious fanatics because they want your soul. They are so absolutely sure of what they believe that, “Doubt becomes heresy and their ultimate goals are pursued without compromise. Gizmo, I believe that faith is a wonderful thing, and I respect whatever belief people may have in whatever Deity they choose to worship, but I absolutely hate deceit, hypocrisy, the feigning of special revelation, and the abuse of the sincere beliefs of others.”

Wow! Pretty deep for me! But if the Boss says it, I remember it. That’s the way we puppies are. We pay attention.

Anyway, Ben Carson. He has said many times that he talks to God and God guides him, as He did the Founding Fathers when they wrote the Constitution. According to Ben’s analysis, some of them didn’t “want to talk to God,” but Franklin convinced them to “ask God to give us wisdom,” so they did and thus were able to come up with the Constitution because they were “divinely inspired.” And it seemed to work out pretty well.

“The Lord has a plan,” says Ben. And, “God gets the credit for all the things I do.” He said he didn’t want to run for President but the Lord opened a lot of doors for him. He told Pat Robertson that in preparing a speech for the National Prayer Breakfast, “I realized that God probably had something special he wanted me to say but I didn’t know what it was until the morning of the prayer breakfast… after a while, wrestling with it, I just said, ‘I’m leaving it alone; the Lord will tell me what to say.'”

Ben has written, “I know my faith is strong and my ego is small,” though he is “one of the most spectacular and smartest people in the world.” In fact, from the beginning much of his writing and large portions of his speeches have been almost painfully self-aggrandizing.

And what I really wonder is this: What kind of ego is required to believe you’re speaking for God?

So let’s see what else God told Ben Carson.

Apparently God told Ben that gays choose to be gay. It has nothing to do with how they were born or how God created them; it is a personal choice. But Ben still loves them and He does too, though if the gays don’t repent of this bad choice they are in for a long, hot summer.

God also told Ben that we should not have a Muslim President. Unless (according to the latest clarification) that person rejects portions of his religion. What about Ben? Is he willing to publically reject those portions of the Bible which may appear to Muslims and other observers to advocate war, slavery, genocide, the subjugation of women, and the murder, including by stoning, of adulterers and homosexuals?

What’s even more scary to me is that God told Ben that it’s O.K. to profile people based on their religion. Being a Muslim, for example, would constitute probable cause for tracking the personal phone calls and emails of an individual. This would simply mean that all Muslims in America would live under a Constitution different from the divinely inspired one that governs the rest of us.

God also told Ben that abortion under essentially any circumstances, including rape, incest, and maybe even when the mother’s life or health is at stake (this we can “discuss”), and beginning at conception, is worse than letting the baby be born into a living Hell that his comrades-in-arms consistently refuse to invest in fixing. Actually, God’s message to Ben has not been consistent on this issue, but this seems to be the bottom line as of Ben’s Meet The Press interview of October 25, 2015.  

On the issue of waging war, the Lord told Ben that the rule is, “No War.” (Check out some of God’s previous positions on this rule.) But, in case humans ever happen to break the rule about no war, there should be no other rules. Apparently war crimes, including torture, etc. are O.K. once the original sin of going to war has been committed. Now, excuse me for being very perplexed here, but I have some questions: 1.) What about rape, an integral part of war as it actually exists. No rules? And if the victim gets pregnant, no abortion? Isn’t that a rule? and 2.) Shouldn’t God have thought a bit more about some of this before He spoke to Ben?

Another interesting thing that God told Ben is that the Affordable Care Act is like Leninism. (Was God around last Century?) He also said that the ACA is worse than the 9/11 attacks. God told Ben to inform the citizens of the U.S. that Obama’s plan for America comes from Mein Kampf and the works of Lenin.

Actually, God has told Ben to make a number of similar analogies, often comparing the policies or beliefs of his political opponents to those of the leaders of Nazi Germany.

And God told Ben that Obama appears to be a psychopath. Or, to be exact, he is “like a psychopath.” (Though God told Ben this in private – it wasn’t supposed to get out. I wonder what else they talk about.)

If you’re now on your four paws, “Sit!” for this one. The Lord told Ben that President Obama might declare martial law at some point before his term is over. Of course, this could have the effect of extending his tenure. Also, Congress might be in such disarray by 2016 that elections can’t be held. Man! – when These Two get together we learn some serious pooch poop.

In the past couple of days The Lord has really riled Ben up, which He might want to rethink. After all, Ben’s proudly-recounted and fiercely-defended life story is how he was a “pathologically” violent youth who “would go after people (including his mother) with rocks, and bricks, and baseball bats, and hammers.” But now He has healed him. Ben is no longer pathological or violent. He basks in the peace of the Lord. So now we can trust him with the nuclear trigger.

So, if They want to keep this Gentle Ben narrative going, why would God tell Ben to sarcastically and angrily attack members of the press trying to interview and vet him? (The Hill [11/7/15] said that he responded to the press Friday “with fury.”) Why would God have him call people who disagree with him “stupid,” and say to Alisyn Camerota, “Are you honestly telling me that you don’t know what I was talkin’ about when I said that…because if you are you might fit in that category.” (He had just referred to the “many” “stupid” Americans who disagree with his opinions.) Impatiently, he clarified: “I just told you who I think the stupid people are…”

And God told Ben to say all of this of this after previously having him quote Proverbs 9:11, “With his mouth the Godless destroys his neighbor..” and Proverbs 11:12, “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor but a man of understanding holds his tongue.” And after having previously said, “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority…” (Hebrews 13:17, NIV) and after telling Ben to say, “We need to concentrate on being respectful of those people with whom we disagree.” Puzzled yet?

Getting back to what God told Ben to say to Alisyn Camerota, Ben very specifically characterized “stupid” people as those who support social welfare and those who pity the poor. The Lord forgot to remind Ben of what He had previously said, “He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the Lord…” (Proverbs 19:17, KJV) and what His Son said, “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.” (Mark 10:21, NIV) and “…whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40, NIV)

On a related topic, the Lord also told Ben to advocate for the limiting of the free speech of liberal academics, but please leave the conservatives alone. Ben abhors the “P.C. culture,” but if you disagree with him verbally (i.e., say something “stupid”), you should be censured.

I have to say that none of this is a surprise to me, because 1.) I’m beginning to get a line on Ben’s logic and 2.) I’m sure Ben’s God is a member of the Freedom Caucus.

On the issue of global warming God told Ben that, although He’s not a scientist, He’s pretty sure that climate change is cyclical (He’s been around a while) and “There’s always either cooling or warming going on.” This makes the issue of whether or not much of human life on the planet may be in grave danger in less than a century (which is apparently too far ahead for a Non-Scientist to speculate about) “irrelevant.”

I’m thinking there’s a reason why Ben uses the word “irrelevant” to refer to events in any time period beyond the near future. But I think that most of us puppies would hope that the President of the United States, regardless of his beliefs, would have a working assumption that the End Times are not imminent.

Ben shouldn’t have asked God a “gotcha” question, but he wanted to know what kind of a tax plan to propose. Of course, since the earth may be flat anyway (I’m not a scientist), God proposed a flat tax, a tithe. God’s argument was clearly sound, with much Biblical precedent. He had no trouble convincing Ben. But where He got into trouble was with the ten percent thing. Little did He know, but a flat tax of about twenty percent would be needed to balance any conceivable budget. (I don’t think He’s an accountant either.) Within days Ben, possibly without God’s knowledge, jumped to fifteen percent. Still not enough, but getting closer.

God told Ben that the suffering and deaths of all of the veterans who were abused and ignored under the criminally inefficient VA system were actually a gift from Him. “A gift from God,” Ben said. I hope God keeps me off His Christmas list. Maybe a few sins would come in handy right now!

Another “gift from God,” this time to Ben, was that God allowed Ben to grow up in a rather rough environment. Ben is used to seeing “people having the crap beat out of them by police.” But God told Ben to say that it’s O.K. because these people were doing “wrong stuff” anyway. I’ve been rereading the teachings of Jesus to find out where this one fits in.

God opened the doors of a few federal prisons for Ben to visit. I would have expected that this was a chance for Ben to channel God’s mercy, but instead his takeaway was this: “I was flabbergasted by the accommodations – the exercise equipment, the libraries and the computers.”

He wants prisons to be places that are not “particularly comfortable.” I’m just a dog, but I imagine that violence, brutality, rapes, confinement for most of the day in a walk-in closet you share with God-knows(maybe)-who, separation from your family, friends, and community, losing all of your rights, subjection to absolute authority and control, and general disgrace and shame would be enough discomfort to please Ben’s sensitivities.

Gentle Ben. And his constant advisor, The God of Love. By the way, how do you rehabilitate someone without books and computers? And is not allowing them to exercise some form of “tough love”? Maybe They should talk this over before They put out another statement.

God doesn’t appear to have told Ben much of any substance at all about the existence of or how to deal with racism, inequality, and the plight of the middle class and the poor in America, which I really can’t understand, His being the father of Jesus and all.

On immigration, one of the things the Lord told Ben to say was this: “Anyone caught involved in voter fraud should be immediately deported and have his citizenship revoked.” I’ll give you a lot of time to think about this one. If you figure it out get back to me.

On other immigration issues, the Lord seems to have again kept Ben in the dark, though this hasn’t stopped Ben from sermonizing on the topic. For example, God forgot to inform Ben about the Cuban Adjustment Act and the wet-foot, dry-foot policy. “I’ve not been fully briefed,” Ben said after admitting he didn’t know about this law, which is rather relevant to much of what he has currently been pontificating about. God’s amateur protégé needs to get up to speed.

As a kind of a credulous little guy, what is almost the most amazing to me is that God told Ben Carson to lie. According to the sixteen Carson statements on PolitiFact’s website, three are half true, four are mostly false, seven are false, and two are “pants on fire!” None of his analyzed statements are rated as true. This puzzles me in light of the rather large number of times God has previously condemned falsehood. To give just a couple of examples, He said, “The Lord detests lying lips…” (Proverbs 12:22, NIV) and  “…he who pours out lies will perish.” (Proverbs 19:9, NIV) Relatively clear, I would say.

But let’s not rely on PolitiFact. Let’s look at just one example for ourselves. You guessed it, Mannatech. Ben has had connections with this company for about ten years. He uses and consistently endorses their products in public. He has made at least four very well-paid speeches for the company. (During the debate he said, “a couple.”) He was in videos on their website until recently when, following a Wall Street Journal article about his involvement, they were removed.

Mannatech has made outrageous claims for it’s products, so much so that, according to CNN, “In 2009, Mannatech settled for $7 million following a lawsuit brought by the Texas attorney general over the company’s claims that its products could cure cancer and autism.”

In 2004 God told Ben to say, in a speech to Mannatech sales associates, that, after having been diagnosed with prostate cancer, he started taking the company’s “glyconutritional supplements” and  “within about three weeks” his “symptoms went away,” which really amazed him. (I guess he was a puzzled puppy, too.)

I would imagine that all of this worked very well for Mannatech, but then God told Ben to have what at the time appeared to be unnecessary prostate surgery anyway, in order that he could act as a “role model” for others who weren’t as disciplined as he was about taking Mannatech products.

To Their surprise, in the end the surgery turned out to have been necessary in any case, since the Mannatech products hadn’t actually worked, fooling both God and Ben. Fortunately for Them, though His reasoning was off, God got lucky in suggesting the surgery.

Knowing all this, and knowing about Mannatech’s false claims and misleading business practices, Ben continued to promote the company’s products. In a 2013 video for them Ben said, “The wonderful thing about a company like Mannatech is that they recognize that when God made us, He gave us the right fuel.”

Knowing all this (one would presume) God still told Ben to say the following in a recent Republican debate when asked about his involvement with Mannatech: “I didn’t have an involvement with them. That is total propaganda… It is absolutely absurd to say that I had any kind of a relationship with them.”

To show the much-ignored conservatism of the “liberal” media when it comes to calling someone a liar, Charles Blow, a wonderful columnist for The New York Times, said that Ben “suggested” that he had no ties with Mannatech. He “suggested” nothing. He flat-out stated that he had no ties with them. Possibly the word “any,” being three letters and two syllables, is too big for a New York Times columnist or a famous neurosurgeon to understand.

I might be just a little fur ball with a two-ounce brain, but as a friend of the Boss used to say, I ain’t no Dodo. I know what the word “any” means. It means Ben Carson is a liar.

(By the way, I know what “is” is, too.)

And what I’m pretty sure of, little and foolish as I am, is that what this country does not need right now is a political outsider who lies like a political insider.

Strangely, polls show that a large number of voters admire Ben for his “honesty.” You can understand why I’m a puzzled puppy.

Finally, being a polite liar does not qualify a fanatical amateur to be President. Just as (in the case of one of Ben’s rivals) being an impolite liar does not qualify a fanatical amateur to be President.

But Ben’s quiet people say. He seems calm. He’s become gentle since the Lord’s intervention. (Until recently. Not the best timing. Shouldn’t the Lord have kept him calm until at least after the Convention?)

Now I can say this. The Boss isn’t quiet and he’s not always calm. We chase each other around the house like crazy. Sometimes he says some pretty stupid things. Usually we laugh about it. And sometimes the Boss does some pretty stupid things (nothing to compare with Ben’s exploits, though!), and most of the time we can laugh about that, too.

But the Boss isn’t running for President. And he doesn’t believe that everything he thinks and says is the word of God. So, I guess if the Boss had a couple billion dollars lying around, maybe I’d help him run for President. Maybe not, too. He doesn’t think he’s qualified and neither do I. After all, he’s never held any public office.

I think making Ben Carson President would be sort of like hiring a carpenter who’d never built anything, just read some stuff and thought about it a lot. So maybe I’d be a little careful about hiring him, even if God had opened some of the doors a real carpenter had hung.

Nor would I let this carpenter into my house to work unsupervised around my family if he had the history of violence Ben Carson has admitted to.

It is particularly confusing to me that in the 2008 election, the go-to argument, perhaps the biggest and most important campaign theme of his opponents, repeated and embellished and shouted over and over and over by many of the same people who now support Ben Carson, was that Barack Obama wasn’t experienced enough to be President. Once again, I’m somewhere to the North of befuddled.

Ben recently wrote, “If all you want is political experience then I cannot be your candidate.” Again, God is allowing Ben to miss the point completely. It’s not “all” we should want. But it is a necessary prerequisite.

By the way, I made the Boss promise me that if I ever need brain surgery, he’ll try to get Ben Carson rather than the President or the local carpenter. But if I want a President, I’ll look around and try to figure it out for myself, because God doesn’t fill me in on everything. And because I agree with what Eric Hoffer said: “Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.” This is what truly scares me about Ben Carson.

So is Ben Carson, the often polite doctor who gives God the credit for everything he does, an egotistical, frighteningly unstable, undisciplined, intolerant attack dog with a delicately-monitored evil temper, a believer in war without rules, and a certified liar with borderline Messianic pretentions? Or is he a really nice guy that any good, non-stupid Christian would feel good about electing for President? What do you think? What do you think the Guy who said the following would think?

“…do not give false testimony…” Matthew 19:18 (NIV)

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices – mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law –  justice, mercy and faithfulness.” Matthew 23:23 (NIV)

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” Matthew 23:25 (NIV)

Maybe God’s talking to you, Ben.

I don’t know. I’m just a puzzled puppy.




THE CLOWN CAR October 22, 2015


By the way, speaking of a lack of logic and an inability to put one foot ahead of the other, the House Republicans just spent a day and a chunk of their 4.5 million dollar budget doing the best advertising blitz that Hillary will have during this campaign. (I’m talking about today’s Benghazi hearing, the latest in a series that numbers more than a little puppy like me could possibly count.) Watch the polls in the next few days. I am sure that you will see her numbers go up. Maybe I’m wrong. After all, I’m just a puzzled puppy.